Monday, 21 September 2015

Focusing on Myself, Not Others.

Learning how to focus on myself and not compare myself to others.
As a very anxious person, I often find it difficult to keep myself together. During periods of more intense anxiety, it is very easy to let things slip through my fingers and before I know it, I have become completely stagnant. Only doing to the absolute bare minimum to keep going, which usually involves 5 seasons of a T.V in a couple of days (don't pretend you don't know... >.<)

Although for a lot of people, downtime leads to introspection, being anxious means that introspection is often the last thing I want to do. This means that I tend to spend a lot of time studying things and people around me. Sometimes though it can take a turn for the worst and become very extreme. Suddenly, becauase I dont want to focus on myself, I start focusing way to much on others. What they are doing, how well they are doing it, how much better they are than me, why can they do and I can't... etc, etc. I have always struggled with focusing too much on others and I often catch myself doing things or behaving in a certain way, only because its what I think others would want, rather than being myself. It's basically a very complex distraction technique but it can actually end up feeling my anxiety and then around I go in a cycle.

I find it really hard to keep centred and concentrate on myself. Comparing myself to others often just leads to jealousy, spitefulness, anger. It's very easy to slip into that mindset and very hard to pull myself up on and actually make a change. Noticing that I am doing it is a great start but isn't usually enough to shake me out of it. I find if I don't address the cause, the stagnation that has brought me there, then I just end up hating myself for those kind of thought patterns. Usually I find motivating myself in just anyway can lift my mood. It can be it work, house stuff, reconnecting with old friends just something to make a change and channel that energy into something positive. It doesn't have to be a big change but I think just proving to myself that I am in control of your actions, even a little, can really change my outlook. Even just tidying my bedroom  has been known to kick start pulling me out of major episodes! I'm not saying it will cure me or anything but as they say, life is in the details and sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest change.

Just a little thought!



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